Lawyers love to complain. I suppose, as a profession, we’re no different from others.
And we complain about __________ (fill in the blank)
“Judge so and so screwed me.”
“My opponent in this case is a pain in the ass.”
“I’m too busy.”
“I’m not busy enough.”
Well, you get the point. But my favorite complaint is about clients. Admittedly, in family law, we see people in distress who don’t always act reasonably or even rationally. Emotion overwhelms, and people sometimes behave badly.
But that’s what we do. And we get paid to do it. Complaining about a crabby client is like a dental hygienist complaining about cleaning plaque off your teeth. Or a physician whining about dealing with sick people all the time. It doesn’t make sense. Remember, the gardener would be out of a job if there were no weeds.
I remember years ago dealing with a lawyer who would become enraged (no, I’m not exaggerating) whenever I wouldn’t concede to her demands, which were typically unreasonable. It’s as if I was out of line by not making her job easier. But that's no different than my hygienist scolding me about drinking green tea and red wine because it makes her job more taxing.
There's no doubt we’re in a difficult profession. Challenges are everywhere: difficult personalities, difficult legal issues, people panicking over losing their children and treasure, etc. But whining doesn't help.
Roger Dodd tells the story about comparing notes with his cardiologist friend as to who had the more difficult job. The cardiologist bemoaned the challenges of life-and-death operations and the inherent pressure that went with them. Roger quipped, “Oh yeah, how’d you like to do that while someone is screaming “objection” while you’re doing it!
Let me suggest that instead of complaining about your problems, you reframe them as an opportunity to help people through the worst time in their lives. I’ve reminded my associates that few professions offer the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, like family law. What we do reverberates, not for years or even decades, but for generations.
And to do so, you must face the challenges and obstacles without whining about them. That will only make you more miserable. And if you can’t do that, don’t waste your life; find a new occupation.
Before it’s too late.
I find peace every time I read you article. Thank you Mr. Peskind.