Happy New Year Everyone,
Out with the Old...
For family lawyers, the holiday season is one difficult time! Personally, I am glad the season is behind me. Divorcing people’s emotions (which are otherwise on high alert) are particularly piqued between Thanksgiving and New Years’ day. I am glad to reinhabit the land of normal.
Some takeaways from this year:
If possible, avoid trials or hearings during the month of December. This is not a normal month. While culturally we think of the season as a time of joy and peace, for most divorcing people it remains a time of pain. This cognitive dissonance makes some more emotional and unreasonable during this time. Avoid opportunities for the grief to negatively express itself.
Plan better. You know the cases that are likely to have a last-minute emergency parenting issue. Preempt.
Slow folks down in November. Many want to wrap things up by year-end and have a peaceful holiday. This is hard to achieve considering the emotions that accompany the season, time limitations, and all the extra work that accompanies the end of a case. Don’t mislead people into believing they can have their divorce done by the end of the year unless it is certain. Just say no.
Take time for yourself. Build into your calendar “dead time” for errands, family time, meditation and reflection. Don’t overbook.
I didn’t follow my own advice this year and the month was grueling. I hope to practice better planning next year (like a trip to Key West from December 1st - January 1st). 😀
In With the New…
I am excited to participate in The Annual Review with David Perrell and Tiago Forte, the same folks who taught the wonderful Write of Passage writing course that I just finished (highly recommended). The Review is a two day “digital” retreat on January 4th and January 5th. As Perrell and Forte describe the course, “It is literally a once-a-year opportunity to review your accomplishments and lessons learned over the past year and use those insights to define goals and priorities for the coming year.” Check it out. I can’t wait and hope you join me. A great way to start a new year.
Writing
To make my December even more challenging, I had a complex appellate brief due on December 27th. The issue is whether a person who agrees to a divorce settlement can later sue their ex-spouse in tort for divorce-related conduct. Interesting. I’ll keep you posted.
I did find some time to write a few essays for The Successful Lawyer. I collected some thoughts to help lawyers thrive in a high conflict environment and wrote another article on information management. I hope you check them out. Tell me what you think!
Marriage Story
My friend (and retired family court Judge), Tom Mueller asked my thoughts about the Netflix movie, “Marriage Story.” Well, here are my thoughts--it was frickin’ sad, even from the perspective of a jaded divorce lawyer. The acting and writing were superb and I thought the depiction of the competitiveness of the divorce lawyers was spot on. The movie was like an Ancient Greek drama, where the characters were uncontrollably swept along by the whims of the Gods (or in this case, the system and lawyers). I really didn't want to watch it as I live it all day at work, but I’m glad I did. I highly recommend it. Have some Kleenex handy.
Bits and Pieces:
Follow Chicago divorce lawyer @BrendanJHammer on Twitter. Wise, sardonic and hilarious tweets on family law practice and post-divorce parenting.
For runners and walkers, check out the ChiRunning & ChiWalking system. This practice allows me to continue to run pain-free after 40+ years of running.
For my fellow introverts who suffered through a bunch of holiday parties, check out lawyer Susan Cain’s Ted Talk and read her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.” Inspirational.
One Final Thing
I am thinking of doing a monthly Book Club to discuss books pertinent to our professional development. The club would meet digitally, using a Zoom platform. I want to see if there is any interest. Please email me and let me know if this is something you might like to participate in.
Have a great year! Stay strong, stay positive, and stay in touch.
Steve Peskind
snpeskind@gmail.com ▪ @StevenPeskind ▪ (630)444-0701